Waiting Room

Well I am having one of those nights where I can't sleep. I fell asleep around four and slept for two hours l, now its 145 in the morning. So I have watched countless episodes of pointless TV shows. So I have found it to be time to be some what productive. The waiting room for me is by far one of the most uncomfortable spots for me. Let me be honest, I hate waiting and I hate not knowing. I've always been that way in many ways. So when I think of the waiting room I always think of how uncomfortable it is. But I also see you are the first to get the news. Through the waiting period you experience things you might have missed. Waiting sucks, but you just might miss something if you don't wait. My waiting room with God. Well let me be honest, I hate it and I am uncomfortable. I am naturally a busy body and I want answers. But I also understand it is essential for me to wait. So a few things I do to help me wait. 1. I learn to have fun with it. Several months ago I hated where I was at. Today I see God at work, while I simply wait. I love to explore things. I love to see things and get to know things. I am the person who loves to watch people. 2. I am learning to trust in the unknown. This is hard for me, I kind of like to know what's next. I am the person that goes the same way everytime to a location. On the way to church, I can tell you the time the train comes and blocks my way. I know the time, but if it's early I become frustrated. I have to trust not knowing. 3. The biggest one is I am not in the waiting room alone. I hate to wait alone. The last several months I have been in waiting rooms. I've gone through some testing and I've had to really be open with people. But I've physically been alone in a room, but in sprit I have not been alone. I have co-workers who cheered me on, I had people at church. Most of all I have God. So I understand the waiting and let's be honest it's annoying! Those who wait are blessed. Alright, I am now tired! Time to sleep!

Weird

We were told to blog about something weird about us. I find it it weird that with in our struggle we fund grace and God opens the door for us to help others. The last month Or so has been an eye opener for me. Turning 30 and going through some personal struggles, God opened some doors for me. That door was its really all about grace and love. So instead of struggling alone we are called to struggle together. Now that's weird!

The secret

I haven't talked much about it in a public way, but as time goes by I feel it's important. I have ADHD and have learned in the recent weeks how severe it really is when it's not treated.

Growing up I was a ball of energy. Sitting in front of the tv was not something I did a lot. Reading? Haha yeah right. I couldn't focus long enough to really play sports. I was a mess. But not much was done about it. Growing up in the 90's there was such a debate about it. So I wasn't disruptive in school we just didn't seek help.

On top of that I was diagnosed with dyslexia. That was something my parents seeked help on, I got it. I had the best teachers who loved me for who I was. I remember being told I was going to go far in this world.

As I learned in the past several weeks those two go hand in hand with each other. When your younger the ADHD is something that is tolerated. As you get older it's looked down upon. I always knew something was wrong. I really would try hard, but seemed like I would mess things up. I would lose things like crazy. I would forget things and I couldn't sit at a desk.

But I learned something as well with it. It makes me good at what I do. I see things I shoot it (with a camera). I was told by a counselor the best thing I can do is use it to my advantage, make jokes about it and move on. I am on medication for it because it was messing with my health BIG TIME.

The best medication has been being honest. I told our youth kids, the response was awesome from our jr high was awesome...I heard a lot of me to. Haha I've changed the way I teach to help them and me. I go in with one point now. I allow time to chill out for a few minutes. It's working. Ask them about Paul, the book of Galatians.each student has a spiral and the right the verse down we are lookin at. They get it and I get it.

Ok so this post is a little long. But in the last month I've found hope and peace. I joke about it, but also understand how hard it can be. So I believe being honest about it is the best medication.

What a week

Last week vacation, this week worked enough for this week and last week. Wednesday turned out to be a 20 hr day. Friday was a 14 hr day. But I am so amazed with how our coverage went. Most people don't see or respect what goes on behind the senses. But I am privileged, each day I reach a goal. That goal is a story on the air. Come five o'clock the story will go. But it's a team of people with different talents that make that possible.

So in this pic you see the crew that worked together, yelled at one another, laughed together, and supported each other! Good work this week!!!

Back Home

Had a great time in New York with some awesome friends!! There was not a night that I didn't go to bed before 4 am. All the plans we made fell through, but other things came through that made the trip worth it.

It was a great time, to be honest the best time I've had in years. We all just let lose and lived life. I love to travel, but love the fellowship of good friends.

Grace

When you feel like you are the end is when you experience Grace. I've spent the last few week seeking God, his calling, and what he is longing for. I've become beyond amazed on how far off I was. Like I could be good enough for him, like there is enough work I can do for him to love me. I am loved by a holy God because of the cross. I am not loved because of the way I live. That's freedom!

Purpose

Even then God had designs on me. Why, when I was still in my mother's womb he chose and called me out of sheer generosity! (Galatians 1:15 MSG)

When we take the time to chill out and really see that God has uniquely designed in us a purpose. Many times we try to become something that God has not called us to or giving us the abilities to do.

I see God now has created in you and I an ability to worship him in many different forms. We all have different hobbies and talents. Those hobbies and talents is simply to bring joy to life and to bring him Glory.

Purpose

Even then God had designs on me. Why, when I was still in my mother's womb he chose and called me out of sheer generosity! (Galatians 1:15 MSG)

When we take the time to chill out and really see that God has uniquely designed in us a purpose. Many times we try to become something that God has not called us to or giving us the abilities to do.

I see God now has created in you and I an ability to worship him in many different forms. We all have different hobbies and talents. Those hobbies and talents is simply to bring joy to life and to bring him Glory.

I first want to start with simply thanking you for your compassion, prayers, and love. God has shown me so much the last couple of weeks. I have so much to say but holding a lot of it in for the right time. But here are a few things God is doing.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10 NIV)

Through this journey that scripture has become a reality to me. That Satan's design is to come in and take my heart and mind and make it into something that it simply wasn't designed to be like. I allowed that to happen to many times. I have failed, I have stumbled, and I allowed Satan to take my mind and heart and do something with it that was meant for God.

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:31-39 NIV)

Now with some time, counseling, accountability,and even seeking some medical attention my mind set has changed. I've become amazed that what I view has a problem God delights in. My counselor has really helped me make sense of my thoughts. Jeff has met up with me every week at chillis. I've simply wanted to go there because the first young man I had the chance to make an impact on is a waiter there. I've had the opportunity to have dinner with him. He has been able to take me back to that time, when it was simply because I loved God. I saw this young man and saw God in him.

All that is great, but I've also been learning the value of simply having fun in life. I've learned that God has wired me a certain way and that is to bring him Glory. Through laughter, tears, and the words I speak. I am naturally an easy going guy. I've allowed other peoples expectations to change that. I've spent the last several years trying to always become better and not just living and allowing Christ to make me a better person.

I am personally going through the book of Galatians and this verse stuck out.... If I was "trying to be good," I would be rebuilding the same old barn that I tore down. I would be acting as a charlatan. (Galatians 2:18 MSG)

A few weeks ago my heart was in a million pieces. I've simply been allowing God to put those pieces together. I must be honest with you, a few weeks ago I thought I was at the end. But now I am swing that this is just the beginning.

With that being said the greatest thing I have learned is this..,.compassion for one another and the compassion from Jesus Christ is and should be the main focus for my life. At this moment that is something I'm allowing God to build in my life.

Thank you for your prayers and love.

Nick

Matthew 11

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (Matthew 11:28-30 MSG)

Awesome stuff. Found a lot of hope in this today!