It's amazing how God has giving us the grace to be who he wants us to be. But I must admit in the last year I have been struggling with our language about people and those who are in the faith. To this day I can tell you of two of the best worship expierences I have had in my life. One was in a big setting and the other was in a small setting.
Small Setting:
It was 2003 when I went on a Mission Trip to Mexico. While I was there I spent allot of time finding more out about myself and what God would want for me. One night we had this worship service and I wasn't able to understand the lyrics because it was in Spanish. It was the best setting in the world and to this day I would put in a highlight of my times with Christ.
Big Setting:
Two years ago in Houston with 2000 people at a Hillsong conference. Behind me was a guy who was worshiping and singing loud in Japaneses. I was amazed with how big God was to make a song that has an impact on me to have the same impact in a different language.
We have the freedom to be us, but we strive to be like other people. We strive to be "big time" but how many small people are there for every big name? Do we believe that God only uses the big or do we believe he uses all? We of course you said yes, then Why? Why do we focus on the big but not the small? As I read through my Bible God used all people, but who were his 12 disciples??
Peter, Philip, James, John,and Andrew were fishermen.
Matthew aka Levi was a tax-collector
Nathaniel a Noblesman
Thomas was a servant
Judas was a bookeeper
Paul was a tentmaker
Simon was a zealot, a rebel
The Bible really doesnt say what Bartholomew did
My point is sometimes we need to be careful of what we glorify. I believe it is awesome how God has blessed Hillsong. But I also still know some people over in Mexico and it's amazing how God has blessed them. We are free to be us small or big! My prayer is that we focus on the calling that God has for us and not the cause that the world wants. May we understand that God uses all big and small!
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
February 19, 2010
January 21, 2010
Here is our King
He is our God" and since he is our God what does he command from you and I? For so many people the Bible has more to do with what we are to do and not to do. I believe most of us would understand "the rules" but do we truly understand what it takes to live as our God? We read about his son on the cross and how to the end he loved. He was a man that was spit on and looked down on. Before we he was sent to that cross he was beat and was a savior that went last so you and I could be first. The cross is something that should be celebrated by his people and at the same time we should show the cross to others.
I believe the one thing that would have changed my life growing up would be someone showing me the cross. I must admit, it is so hard to show. We make it seem easy but it's not. That day on the cross it was so much more then just a man hanging there....it was man hanging there calling us out of death and into life. To think at one point I was dead and now I am alive is not easy to understand. But what I do understand is that my life should show the same dedication.
In 2010 when I look around I ask myself is this what God had in mind? I know God knew what would happen and what is to happen. But the last couple of weeks with an earth quake in Haiti and mud slides in California it makes you think for a minute, is this the way God wanted? I believe the answer is NO! However I am understanding what God wants more and more.... I believe he wants the cross to be a blazing light in a dark world. When I read about human tracking I ask myself, "What can I do?" I believe showing that God is love and allow the cross to do it's job will make the true difference.
The last year of my life I believe I have made a huge change in how I think and believe. I believe so many times we make the cross selfish and we feel that God is most satisfied when we feel good. I am understanding more and more, when I don't feel very comfortable that is when God has me right where he wants me. Please hear me, I am not saying we are bad people because we want the American dream. I am saying I believe God has something bigger for you and I. I believe it has more to do with how we respond!
So with Haiti how will I respond? We'll last week I did my # whatever to give but I believe I am going to follow the lead of a fifteen year old I know. He was at lunch one day and was thinking about the people in a land of poverty and distress and how they were living before an earthquake. So he made the choice to still take the lunch money from his parents but use that to give to a fund. His friends started follow his lead and now there is a lunch table at a local school with a bunch of students who throw there lunch money and a bucket and have started to fast from food one meal so someone else could get the help they needed.
You see at the cross we find something more then just love, we see what sacrifice should look like. I have kids in our youth group that is going to start fasting so that they can give. I believe with all of my heart God has called his people to so much more then just living a life and Going to a Bible study so we can grow spiritually. I believe we must receive from him so we can give to others. I now believe that is a time for God to show up and rescue his people from what Satan meant for evil. This is our chance to fulfill the will of God and to open our eyes to what God has for you and I.
1John 7-8My dear friends, I'm not writing anything new here. This is the oldest commandment in the book, and you've known it from day one. It's always been implicit in the Message you've heard. On the other hand, perhaps it is new, freshly minted as it is in both Christ and you—the darkness on its way out and the True Light already blazing!
In 2010 when I look around I ask myself is this what God had in mind? I know God knew what would happen and what is to happen. But the last couple of weeks with an earth quake in Haiti and mud slides in California it makes you think for a minute, is this the way God wanted? I believe the answer is NO! However I am understanding what God wants more and more.... I believe he wants the cross to be a blazing light in a dark world. When I read about human tracking I ask myself, "What can I do?" I believe showing that God is love and allow the cross to do it's job will make the true difference.
The last year of my life I believe I have made a huge change in how I think and believe. I believe so many times we make the cross selfish and we feel that God is most satisfied when we feel good. I am understanding more and more, when I don't feel very comfortable that is when God has me right where he wants me. Please hear me, I am not saying we are bad people because we want the American dream. I am saying I believe God has something bigger for you and I. I believe it has more to do with how we respond!
So with Haiti how will I respond? We'll last week I did my # whatever to give but I believe I am going to follow the lead of a fifteen year old I know. He was at lunch one day and was thinking about the people in a land of poverty and distress and how they were living before an earthquake. So he made the choice to still take the lunch money from his parents but use that to give to a fund. His friends started follow his lead and now there is a lunch table at a local school with a bunch of students who throw there lunch money and a bucket and have started to fast from food one meal so someone else could get the help they needed.
You see at the cross we find something more then just love, we see what sacrifice should look like. I have kids in our youth group that is going to start fasting so that they can give. I believe with all of my heart God has called his people to so much more then just living a life and Going to a Bible study so we can grow spiritually. I believe we must receive from him so we can give to others. I now believe that is a time for God to show up and rescue his people from what Satan meant for evil. This is our chance to fulfill the will of God and to open our eyes to what God has for you and I.
My prayer: Dear God please help us and rescue us from ourselves and what we believe to be comfortable. God show us what it means to carry our own cross.
January 5, 2010
January 1, 2010
How do we serve?
I must admit if I knew what I know now I am not sure if I would have giving my life over to Christ. When I first grace I thought I was "good" because all I had to do was go to church and sing a couple of songs and I was done. The more and more I went to church the more I found myself asking....is there more? I must be careful because I love serving and I believe that is how I learn as a person. I set in a church maybe three months not serving. Now I don't believe I am a better person because of it, I believe that is what God has called me to and I still believe it is working with teens. I am not a youth pastor trying to climb up and become a senior pastor...At this point in my life God has called me to it and has not put that passion in my heart. My goal is to serve Christ to best of my ability because God has giving me that gift and I must obey it. However should serving be painful? I have asked God why did you give me this? I first years of serving were awesome and I loved it. I had the chance to sit down with two of my old students who are now in college or graduated from High School and I was amazed at how much of an impact the church and God had on there life. I was never sure if it was or not, but it was working. The trips, camps, dinners, movies, and all of the talks worked because of the relationship I had with the student. They are not the only one with the stories and I am so amazed with all that God has done. But what about the student who doesn't get it?? The student that loves to push your buttons and you grow frustrated with them, students, and life!
That has been me the last few months and I now understand why it was all because of who I was serving. I was serving them, trying to change them, and trying to be the "best" when God never meant for me to do so. My plans and God's plan was not matching at all and I was not cool with that! I know I had fights with God on it and I was making plans on how to solve their issues before looking at mine. You see serving will bring you great joy but it requires some suffering!
Our worship team at Church started singing "How he loves us" and it is a powerful song with such a powerful message. Two weeks ago I was in worship and standing next to one of my students who has tested me the past few months and he said the following that brought me to tears and made more of an impact on my life that made me think about where I was at.... "Nick I know that this past year we have not been the best and it has been hard, but thank you for sticking around" At first I was like okay???? So I asked him what he meant by that comment and what he said struck me and I had to ask myself has my attitude been that of Christ. He went on to tell me that his girlfriend was talking to him and she had told him her church had gone through four youth pastors since she has been their. She had only been there for three years and she didn't trust anyone at Church.
That morning something changed in me and I started asking God to change the way I was thinking. I started asking myself what has changed in me and the answer was clear...it was love! I started begging God to change my heart for him and his people. So the weak before Christmas I set out to spend time in two different areas of my life...
A. With God which meant I must spend time with him and not just learning about him. I must slow down and and know that he is God. This seems easy but I believe it was hard....through that time I found out something awesome about not only me but God as well. It was something so easy and simple but however it became hard to understand for some odd reason. HE IS GOD AND I AM NOT! This means ups and downs and this means times of laughter and times of tears. No matter what the day brought I could rely on the fact he never changes. What I learned about me...I was trying to be God of my life when nothing belongs to me and it all belongs to him. Hear me on this, I am not talking about STUFF! I am talking about time and the future. Stuff is gone in two years, we pay one car off and we but another one. My time belongs to him as well and I believe that is the most important gift.
B. God had told me I needed to spend time with some students one on one. God made that happen for me in a way that I found to not only be awesome but to give me some relief. I went to the movies and had dinner with them. (If I see Blindside one more time I have paid for half of their budget) I had a great time. I started learning more about them and where they were at and thinking back on my teen years and where I was at. The more and more I would listen in the car, the more I knew God was changing something in me. It was simple I needed to be me and that was okay.
Then on Wednesday the night that I found to be awesome, we had this event plan and some how the plans didn't go like I wanted them to. We had ten students go, but I will tell you this I had a blast with them. I started seeing something different in them, in order to really make an impact...we must have a relationship. How awesome is it in life to be able to say I made a difference....it's huge!
How do we serve??? Through the love we have for Christ. We must always keep in mind that God is God and we are not!
That has been me the last few months and I now understand why it was all because of who I was serving. I was serving them, trying to change them, and trying to be the "best" when God never meant for me to do so. My plans and God's plan was not matching at all and I was not cool with that! I know I had fights with God on it and I was making plans on how to solve their issues before looking at mine. You see serving will bring you great joy but it requires some suffering!
"Psalm 126:5 5 Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. 6 He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him."I believe with serving you must also serve with some tears and begging God to change you so that you might be a light in a dark world. I believe it means more to the people you are serving when you stick around and you cry the tears with them and you allow them to see you in pain. Wait....I believe that, but I have to play Mr. Tough guy all the time and show no pain. Wow it shows that I am human. So when did I start looking into this?
Our worship team at Church started singing "How he loves us" and it is a powerful song with such a powerful message. Two weeks ago I was in worship and standing next to one of my students who has tested me the past few months and he said the following that brought me to tears and made more of an impact on my life that made me think about where I was at.... "Nick I know that this past year we have not been the best and it has been hard, but thank you for sticking around" At first I was like okay???? So I asked him what he meant by that comment and what he said struck me and I had to ask myself has my attitude been that of Christ. He went on to tell me that his girlfriend was talking to him and she had told him her church had gone through four youth pastors since she has been their. She had only been there for three years and she didn't trust anyone at Church.
That morning something changed in me and I started asking God to change the way I was thinking. I started asking myself what has changed in me and the answer was clear...it was love! I started begging God to change my heart for him and his people. So the weak before Christmas I set out to spend time in two different areas of my life...
A. With God which meant I must spend time with him and not just learning about him. I must slow down and and know that he is God. This seems easy but I believe it was hard....through that time I found out something awesome about not only me but God as well. It was something so easy and simple but however it became hard to understand for some odd reason. HE IS GOD AND I AM NOT! This means ups and downs and this means times of laughter and times of tears. No matter what the day brought I could rely on the fact he never changes. What I learned about me...I was trying to be God of my life when nothing belongs to me and it all belongs to him. Hear me on this, I am not talking about STUFF! I am talking about time and the future. Stuff is gone in two years, we pay one car off and we but another one. My time belongs to him as well and I believe that is the most important gift.
B. God had told me I needed to spend time with some students one on one. God made that happen for me in a way that I found to not only be awesome but to give me some relief. I went to the movies and had dinner with them. (If I see Blindside one more time I have paid for half of their budget) I had a great time. I started learning more about them and where they were at and thinking back on my teen years and where I was at. The more and more I would listen in the car, the more I knew God was changing something in me. It was simple I needed to be me and that was okay.
Then on Wednesday the night that I found to be awesome, we had this event plan and some how the plans didn't go like I wanted them to. We had ten students go, but I will tell you this I had a blast with them. I started seeing something different in them, in order to really make an impact...we must have a relationship. How awesome is it in life to be able to say I made a difference....it's huge!
How do we serve??? Through the love we have for Christ. We must always keep in mind that God is God and we are not!
December 19, 2009
Community
We are now less then a week away from Christmas and I believe I have been to more Christmas parties and celebrations this week then my whole life. I believe it's all good and at the same time I ask myself....Why??? Why we celebrate the birth of our king once a year??? I have also been asking alot about community with the believers and what that looks like?? Guess what??? I am not here to answer that question because I am not sure. I must admit the last three or four weeks of life has been a blur. I am not sure that everyone has understood or if I have been 100% honest because I didn't really know until yesterday when it was over. For the last couple of years I have been trying to follow a set schedule... I understand that is easy for some people, but for not so easy. Infact I hate it but I understand I must do it to function. Between church and my job at times I feel that I dont want a schedule. With work I must follow my schedule to the T! I have five minute passing periods, three days with with 20 minute lunch breaks, and I must teach bell to bell because free days in high school always end in a disaster.
Because I had a week long training and there were only 16 weeks in this semester and I had to teach 15 weeks you can imagine the last two weeks of my life. But then yesterday it hit me, because I have been really negative and frustrated for the last month with just life...... God has really blessed me more then I could ever imagine. It hit me while I was at a little get together yesterday afternoon with a group of students after school. This teachers aide has an ability to really connect with students in a way that has been awesome to watch and she has about three or four students come over make cookies and watch Madea goes to jail. I was like any other school thing because I make the choice to work more with this group of kids because I believe it is where God has called me. But what hit me was....we were doing life together and laughing.
I must admit I have always struggled with doing just that. I grew up in a home to where we didnt say "I love you" I was the oldest of now four and I was the example. So at the age of 14 or 15 I started working and while sitting there thinking God that I am getting a couple of weeks off of work for Christmas what hit be is that we just saw community. As we were watching this movie we just started talking about life! then the teachers aide kids come in, both run up and give me a bear hug (he is a freshman in high school and the other one is a freshman in college) it was just an awesome time of fellowhip with not just the kids but the adults.
In the last year of my life I have become a very social person and less about work, work, work. I believe that has been a growth for me in my ministry and personal life. To me it's okay to leave work at work....my youth kids at the church I am seeing it's okay to go out and have fun. My students I work with at cooper I find it important for me to go to some of the events and outings to build a true relationship.
Jesus built relationships that offered support, accountability, laughter, challenge, and deep trust. I believe this is so important in the area of life. We all need to do this and it's important. I had a good friend the other day that get up in my face and told me that I needed to get some stuff together. I love that, I love to know that I might get told something but I am not going to be in trouble the whole time. But for the last month for me it hasn't been that way and this is why???
Many of you heard about the young man that was shot in the leg and died in Abilene. He use to be one of my students. When it happend it really hit me of how many students went through the system or now they are dead or have been apart of killing someone else. My problem is I feel guilty for those things.....the other day I called up one of my old students and I asked what made you change and his response was awesome he said "you were straight up with your beliefs and then you would give us a hug, I always knew you loved me" WOW! that hit me hard because I remember those days. If a person didn't want to change I didn't bother with to much....sounds bad, but it's what I did. Then somehow is the last year or so....I went a different direction to where I wanted to see change, but I wanted to do it. I believe that cant be done that has to be done my Jesus the power of all change. I am now seeing again that I must invest into a few so that many can change the world. It is what Jesus did! Never forsake the crowld speak life into them, but at the end of the day that have to make the change.
My boss yesterday said the best thing "you can only go as far as your students want to go" meaning that while I am in the classroom and at church, there is no need to be frustrated at myself like I have been or them. It is their choice and they will pay a price no matter what. I can only contorl me and no one else. After admitting that and seeing that I feel the world has been lifed off my shoulders!
Community....I am not sure what it is, but I do know this Jesus must be in it! In order for it to happen we must do it more then once or twice a year. It's called a relationship! Our relationship with Christ is the upmost importance no matter what!
Because I had a week long training and there were only 16 weeks in this semester and I had to teach 15 weeks you can imagine the last two weeks of my life. But then yesterday it hit me, because I have been really negative and frustrated for the last month with just life...... God has really blessed me more then I could ever imagine. It hit me while I was at a little get together yesterday afternoon with a group of students after school. This teachers aide has an ability to really connect with students in a way that has been awesome to watch and she has about three or four students come over make cookies and watch Madea goes to jail. I was like any other school thing because I make the choice to work more with this group of kids because I believe it is where God has called me. But what hit me was....we were doing life together and laughing.
I must admit I have always struggled with doing just that. I grew up in a home to where we didnt say "I love you" I was the oldest of now four and I was the example. So at the age of 14 or 15 I started working and while sitting there thinking God that I am getting a couple of weeks off of work for Christmas what hit be is that we just saw community. As we were watching this movie we just started talking about life! then the teachers aide kids come in, both run up and give me a bear hug (he is a freshman in high school and the other one is a freshman in college) it was just an awesome time of fellowhip with not just the kids but the adults.
In the last year of my life I have become a very social person and less about work, work, work. I believe that has been a growth for me in my ministry and personal life. To me it's okay to leave work at work....my youth kids at the church I am seeing it's okay to go out and have fun. My students I work with at cooper I find it important for me to go to some of the events and outings to build a true relationship.
Jesus built relationships that offered support, accountability, laughter, challenge, and deep trust. I believe this is so important in the area of life. We all need to do this and it's important. I had a good friend the other day that get up in my face and told me that I needed to get some stuff together. I love that, I love to know that I might get told something but I am not going to be in trouble the whole time. But for the last month for me it hasn't been that way and this is why???
Many of you heard about the young man that was shot in the leg and died in Abilene. He use to be one of my students. When it happend it really hit me of how many students went through the system or now they are dead or have been apart of killing someone else. My problem is I feel guilty for those things.....the other day I called up one of my old students and I asked what made you change and his response was awesome he said "you were straight up with your beliefs and then you would give us a hug, I always knew you loved me" WOW! that hit me hard because I remember those days. If a person didn't want to change I didn't bother with to much....sounds bad, but it's what I did. Then somehow is the last year or so....I went a different direction to where I wanted to see change, but I wanted to do it. I believe that cant be done that has to be done my Jesus the power of all change. I am now seeing again that I must invest into a few so that many can change the world. It is what Jesus did! Never forsake the crowld speak life into them, but at the end of the day that have to make the change.
My boss yesterday said the best thing "you can only go as far as your students want to go" meaning that while I am in the classroom and at church, there is no need to be frustrated at myself like I have been or them. It is their choice and they will pay a price no matter what. I can only contorl me and no one else. After admitting that and seeing that I feel the world has been lifed off my shoulders!
Community....I am not sure what it is, but I do know this Jesus must be in it! In order for it to happen we must do it more then once or twice a year. It's called a relationship! Our relationship with Christ is the upmost importance no matter what!
December 15, 2009
September 11, 2001
This spring break I have the chance to take a trip of a lifetime to New York. If you were to ask what am I looking forward to?? I would tell you going to ground zero and having the chance to show respect to the place that changed our lives. I will never forget the day for as long as I live. I was a young 19 year old working for Power 103 and KBCY. Our operations manager called everyone in to work around the clock. Then right after that I went to KTAB TV to work my shift and it was there when I knew my life had changed.
I will never forget the newsroom and how it felt....Bob Bartlett who was able to always hold back emotions cried several times on-air. Tom Brokaw lost it, Dan rather had to ask someone to take over for him for a bit. News people were n longer trying to get the top story. We all came together and were able to see Unity. But this what got me the most....the kids who lost parents. Bellow is a video that will make you cry and it is a little girl who lost her father in September 11.
More then anything else when I go I want to be there and I want to remember an even that brought me closer to my savior Jesus Christ. I knew at that moment that my life would be different. But also while I am there I want to honor those who gave their lives to rescue and keep in mind that even though I dont always understand God has a plan that is bigger than I. From what I hear from people that City is not the same. I love history! Most of all I love the people of history!
I will never forget the newsroom and how it felt....Bob Bartlett who was able to always hold back emotions cried several times on-air. Tom Brokaw lost it, Dan rather had to ask someone to take over for him for a bit. News people were n longer trying to get the top story. We all came together and were able to see Unity. But this what got me the most....the kids who lost parents. Bellow is a video that will make you cry and it is a little girl who lost her father in September 11.
More then anything else when I go I want to be there and I want to remember an even that brought me closer to my savior Jesus Christ. I knew at that moment that my life would be different. But also while I am there I want to honor those who gave their lives to rescue and keep in mind that even though I dont always understand God has a plan that is bigger than I. From what I hear from people that City is not the same. I love history! Most of all I love the people of history!
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