How do we serve?

I must admit if I knew what I know now I am not sure if I would have giving my life over to Christ. When I first grace I thought I was "good" because all I had to do was go to church and sing a couple of songs and I was done. The more and more I went to church the more I found myself asking....is there more? I must be careful because I love serving and I believe that is how I learn as a person. I set in a church maybe three months not serving. Now I don't believe I am a better person because of it, I believe that is what God has called me to and I still believe it is working with teens. I am not a youth pastor trying to climb up and become a senior pastor...At this point in my life God has called me to it and has not put that passion in my heart. My goal is to serve Christ to best of my ability because God has giving me that gift and I must obey it. However should serving be painful? I have asked God why did you give me this? I first years of serving were awesome and I loved it. I had the chance to sit down with two of my old students who are now in college or graduated from High School and I was amazed at how much of an impact the church and God had on there life. I was never sure if it was or not, but it was working. The trips, camps, dinners, movies, and all of the talks worked because of the relationship I had with the student. They are not the only one with the stories and I am so amazed with all that God has done. But what about the student who doesn't get it?? The student that loves to push your buttons and you grow frustrated with them, students, and life!

That has been me the last few months and I now understand why it was all because of who I was serving. I was serving them, trying to change them, and trying to be the "best" when God never meant for me to do so. My plans and God's plan was not matching at all and I was not cool with that! I know I had fights with God on it and I was making plans on how to solve their issues before looking at mine. You see serving will bring you great joy but it requires some suffering!

"Psalm 126:5 ⁵ Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. ⁶ He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy,  carrying sheaves with him."

I believe with serving you must also serve with some tears and begging God to change you so that you might be a light in a dark world. I believe it means more to the people you are serving when you stick around and you cry the tears with them and you allow them to see you in pain. Wait....I believe that, but I have to play Mr. Tough guy all the time and show no pain. Wow it shows that I am human. So when did I start looking into this?

Our worship team at Church started singing "How he loves us" and it is a powerful song with such a powerful message. Two weeks ago I was in worship and standing next to one of my students who has tested me the past few months and he said the following that brought me to tears and made more of an impact on my life that made me think about where I was at.... "Nick I know that this past year we have not been the best and it has been hard, but thank you for sticking around" At first I was like okay???? So I asked him what he meant by that comment and what he said struck me and I had to ask myself has my attitude been that of Christ. He went on to tell me that his girlfriend was talking to him and she had told him her church had gone through four youth pastors since she has been their. She had only been there for three years and she didn't trust anyone at Church.

That morning something changed in me and I started asking God to change the way I was thinking. I started asking myself what has changed in me and the answer was clear...it was love! I started begging God to change my heart for him and his people. So the weak before Christmas I set out to spend time in two different areas of my life...

A. With God which meant I must spend time with him and not just learning about him. I must slow down and and know that he is God.  This seems easy but I believe it was hard....through that time I found out something awesome about not only me but God as well. It was something so easy and simple but however it became hard to understand for some odd reason. HE IS GOD AND I AM NOT! This means ups and downs and this means times of laughter and times of tears. No matter what the day brought I could rely on the fact he never changes. What I learned about me...I was trying to be God of my life when nothing belongs to me and it all belongs to him. Hear me on this, I am not talking about STUFF! I am talking about time and the future. Stuff is gone in two years, we pay one car off and we but another one. My time belongs to him as well and I believe that is the most important gift.


B. God had told me I needed to spend time with some students one on one. God made that happen for me in a way that I found to not only be awesome but to give me some relief. I went to the movies and had dinner with them. (If I see Blindside one more time I have paid for half of their budget) I had a great time. I started learning more about them and where they were at and thinking back on my teen years and where I was at. The more and more I would listen in the car, the more I knew God was changing something in me. It was simple I needed to be me and that was okay.

Then on Wednesday the night that I found to be awesome, we had this event plan and some how the plans didn't go like I wanted them to. We had ten students go, but I will tell you this I had a blast with them. I started seeing something different in them, in order to really make an impact...we must have a relationship. How awesome is it in life to be able to say I made a difference....it's huge!

How do we serve??? Through the love we have for Christ. We must always keep in mind that God is God and we are not!