Closer to Love

When I write this it has been at a time that I have personally experienced several different emotions. Anger, depression, lonely, and most of all betrayed. Now I am not going to go into details on here what has happened. I will tell you it was to someone in my family and it has changed everything. Through the last few weeks of my life it has brought me closer to the saving grace of Jesus Christ. I started thinking about Jesus in the garden before he was arrested and sent to die on the cross. His prayer is amazing at this point; it’s a prayer of begging the father and a cry out from our savior. "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." At that moment in the life of Jesus Christ, he was begging the father to take something away that was going to cost him pain and suffering. So Jesus is not sitting around looking forward to this event that is about to take place….he is begging the father to take it away. Now we all know how the story ends. Do we ever to stop and think about suffering in today’s world and the pain we suffer? I look back at the life I have been given and I will have to say that if it wasn’t for the hard times I would not be where I am at today. I at times have such a hard time showing emotions to the world. I have an amazing ability to figure issues out and work through things, but when it comes to sharing my emotions and pain with people…I just struggle. Growing up with a learning disability and in a family to where you didn’t ever say I love you and you didn’t dare hug has put something in me that would rather run from that type of affection.

Now because of the love of Jesus Christ I have been able to make some changes in that area. Since starting out as a volunteer at Mission Abilene and now being on staff I have seen many things both crazy and awesome. I have had days where I ask why and days where I know why. In the last five years God has shown me my calling. It’s simple but yet the most difficult task. It’s called love and seeing people for who they can become and not who they are. I have watched students walk away from their faith and I have also seen students hold on to their faith. I have led many students to the loving grace of Jesus Christ; I have also had to give students a reality check. But what I see the most is all of us getting closer to love.

Mat Kearney has a new song out called closer to love….read the lyrics and spend a few minutes thinking about the trials in your life.

She got the call today

One out of the grayAnd when the smoke cleared

It took her breath away

She said she didn't believeIt could happen to me

I guess we're all one phone callfrom our knees

We're gonna get there soonIf every building falls

And all the stars fade

We'll still be singing this song

The one they can't take away

I'm gonna get there soon

She's gonna be there too

Cryin' in her roomPrayin' Lord come through

We're gonna get there soon

Oh it's your life

Oh it's your way

Pull me out of the dark

Just to show me the way

Cryin out now

From so far away

You pull me closer to loveCloser to love

Meet me once again

Down off Lake Michigan

Where we could feel the storm blowin

Down with the windAnd don't apologize

For all the tears you've cried

You've been way too strong now for all your lifeI'm gonna get there soon

You're gonna be there too

Cryin' in your room

Prayin' Lord come through

We're gonna get there soon

Oh it's your lifeOh it's your way

Pull me out of the darkJust to show me the way

Cryin out now

From so far away

You pull me closer to loveCloser to love

Cause you are all that I've waited for

All of my life(We're gonna get there)

You are all that I've waited forAll of my life

You pull me closer to love hu huuhCloser to love hu huuuh Pull me closer to love

You pull me closer to love

Closer to love oh no

Closer to loveCloser to love

Pull me closer to love

The last week this has been my prayer… what’s amazing right now is as I write this the song just came on the radio. I believe with all my heart the Lord will come through. I have been praying this for my family and my students. But most of all I have been praying this for myself. It’s hard for me to understand love and my prayer it that God will show me what love really is. I understand the basic side of love, but I want to understand the loves that Christ had for you and me when he was in that garden. That moment in history brought you and me closer to love. It’s a love that we will spend our whole life trying to figure out. Now I don’t say this just because I am putting this online, but I say it because I mean it. My personal hero is Chad Mitchell our lead pastor. He started praying that I would come over to the Mission and I did. He gave me a chance at our youth pastor position a few years ago. He has set me down to talk with me and has encouraged me to keep going when I need the encouragement. I have been given freedom to make some really good choices and the freedom to really screw up. This is life and all of these events draw us closer to the cross of Jesus Christ.

My prayer is draw me closer to love and show me the way. God’s will is what matters to me and I pray the same prayer for you.