Community

We are now less then a week away from Christmas and I believe I have been to more Christmas parties and celebrations this week then my whole life. I believe it's all good and at the same time I ask myself....Why??? Why we celebrate the birth of our king once a year??? I have also been asking alot about community with the believers and what that looks like?? Guess what??? I am not here to answer that question because I am not sure. I must admit the last three or four weeks of life has been a blur. I am not sure that everyone has understood or if I have been 100% honest because I didn't really know until yesterday when it was over. For the last couple of years I have been trying to follow a set schedule... I understand that is easy for some people, but for not so easy. Infact I hate it but I understand I must do it to function. Between church and my job at times I feel that I dont want a schedule. With work I must follow my schedule to the T! I have five minute passing periods, three days with with 20 minute lunch breaks, and I must teach bell to bell because free days in high school always end in a disaster.

Because I had a week long training and there were only 16 weeks in this semester and I had to teach 15 weeks you can imagine the last two weeks of my life. But then yesterday it hit me, because I have been really negative and frustrated for the last month with just life...... God has really blessed me more then I could ever imagine. It hit me while I was at a little get together yesterday afternoon with a group of students after school. This teachers aide has an ability to really connect with students in a way that has been awesome to watch and she has about three or four students come over make cookies and watch Madea goes to jail. I was like any other school thing because I make the choice to work more with this group of kids because I believe it is where God has called me. But what hit me was....we were doing life together and laughing.

I must admit I have always struggled with doing just that. I grew up in a home to where we didnt say "I love you" I was the oldest of now four and I was the example. So at the age of 14 or 15 I started working and while sitting there thinking God that I am getting a couple of weeks off of work for Christmas what hit be is that we just saw community. As we were watching this movie we just started talking about life! then the teachers aide kids come in, both run up and give me a bear hug (he is a freshman in high school and the other one is a freshman in college) it was just an awesome time of fellowhip with not just the kids but the adults.

In the last year of my life I have become a very social person and less about work, work, work. I believe that has been a growth for me in my ministry and personal life. To me it's okay to leave work at work....my youth kids at the church I am seeing it's okay to go out and have fun. My students I work with at cooper I find it important for me to go to some of the events and outings to build a true relationship.

Jesus built relationships that offered support, accountability, laughter, challenge, and deep trust. I believe this is so important in the area of life. We all need to do this and it's important. I had a good friend the other day that get up in my face and told me that I needed to get some stuff together. I love that, I love to know that I might get told something but I am not going to be in trouble the whole time. But for the last month for me it hasn't been that way and this is why???

Many of you heard about the young man that was shot in the leg and died in Abilene. He use to be one of my students. When it happend it really hit me of how many students went through the system or now they are dead or have been apart of killing someone else. My problem is I feel guilty for those things.....the other day I called up one of my old students and I asked what made you change and his response was awesome he said "you were straight up with your beliefs and then you would give us a hug, I always knew you loved me" WOW! that hit me hard because I remember those days. If a person didn't want to change I didn't bother with to much....sounds bad, but it's what I did. Then somehow is the last year or so....I went a different direction to where I wanted to see change, but I wanted to do it. I believe that cant be done that has to be done my Jesus the power of all change. I am now seeing again that I must invest into a few so that many can change the world. It is what Jesus did! Never forsake the crowld speak life into them, but at the end of the day that have to make the change.

My boss yesterday said the best thing "you can only go as far as your students want to go" meaning that while I am in the classroom and at church, there is no need to be frustrated at myself like I have been or them. It is their choice and they will pay a price no matter what. I can only contorl me and no one else. After admitting that and seeing that I feel the world has been lifed off my shoulders!

Community....I am not sure what it is, but I do know this Jesus must be in it! In order for it to happen we must do it more then once or twice a year. It's called a relationship! Our relationship with Christ is the upmost importance no matter what!