Life after Nick

It's hard to believe I am four years from out living my earthly father. I remember at the age of 15 just before my 16 Birthday hearing the news that my father would pass. Many people have heard me talk about it being the first time I had ever said a "real prayer" and it was "God if it is his time, then I can take it and I am ready." Twelve hours later he was dead and I was more confused then ever before. I became bitter, angry, and at one point believed that there was never a God and were were just here and we died. I really didn't have anyone to sit down and explain God's grace and Mercy. I was always told the moral side of God, but never did I hear about the cross other then he died for our sins. I was confused and in a really bad spot, so bad I was ready to end it all. I had left Texas to stay a few months in Tenn. while I was there I was introduced to all different things to include drugs. Four months living in a house with it I never took a drug and then out of know where I heard a voice telling me that it was time to get it together.

This is why I have such a great faith in that God called me before I called on him. God knew what I was going to face and I believe with all of my heart that their was not a soul in the world that could have convinced me differently. My mother remarried and was involved in a bad relationship, someone who could preach law to me but never did he show me the cross. A youth pastor, an aunt, and a uncle that took me and pointed me towards the cross. I believe part of it was prayer and the other part was unconditional love. Through High School I was able to see God's love for me as a person and by my 20th Birthday I accepted him and what he wanted for my life.

The beautiful part of this story is that I believe mad dad is in heaven because one day my aunt at dinner told me of a time they had a talk. My whole family is now in church and God has just been faithful and awesome. I believe with 100% of my heart this is because of the death of my father and him using that to show all of us his grace and mercy. So the question is what lives after me??

Matthew 28:16-20

¹⁸Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. ¹⁹Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in^[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

 I have a strong desire to be mission minded. It is how I am wired and how I believe I am designed from the grace of God. At the Boys and Girls Club I have elementary kids ask we all the time why I have to leave early on Wednesday and I explain Church. Most of my kids are not in a church so I start sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ one on one in my office. I have an open door policy to where I will be willing to pray or talk to any of them. It's easy for me and I love it.

I believe the main way I I am creating something to live after me is with in our youth ministry. In December will be seven years I have been serving at The Mission. I have done many stupid things and a few smart things. I have had many ideas and most didn't work. I spend more time trying to be the best and not seeking God and his will. Last year is when I said we are finished and it's time to truly seek God and see what he wants. My pastor came up with the name Paradox for our student ministry name, I fell in love with it. I believed God was calling us to do something different outside the norm for Abilene, Texas.

The vision of Paradox Student Ministries is to reach out to students, to teach them the importance of a personal relationship with God, to disciple and provide community for student to become mature believers, and to train and equip them to reach their generation for Christ.

The reason I believe this will last past and beyond me is for a couple of reasons  I believe with all of my heart is that we all need a billion chances and we can not write someone off because it is not done our way. On my team we have several different personalities, ages, and educational levels. If anyone believes that a teenager is going to connect with one person, they are crazy. I am really Good with seekers who are not yet believers but have an interest. I put them in groups with people who I know will connect well with them. I tell God to not give us to many students we can not handle, so my prayer is that we stay as small as need be to make sure each students has the shot. Then what takes place is that when a student has had the chance to see who Christ is they start talking to friends. This might be wrong to people, but I tell our students all the time...do not bring someone to church so you can look cool. But pray and start asking God to give you the chance to speak with them. It seems weird but our students do that. We are training and bringing them up to be people that will seek God's heart and have a heart that breaks for those who do not know Christ. The best part is when it is their family. This summer three of our students introduced their families to Christ because we simply said pray and love on them.

I believe with everything in me I am called with this group of students and it is in the form of youth ministry. I have tried to run and God has a way of saying NO! But If I was to die tonight My prayer is that my students would be taken care of because they would come together. Many people said "It's the team that holds the group together" which means the adults. Hear me I am very thankful for my adult leaders, but I believe it is God working in the students that holds this whole thing together. I believe that if their life is being transformed by the Gospel of Christ and we are people who will allow that to take place, we will see generation after generation impacted by that. I use students to reach other students for the purpose of them seeing that God does work. I believe we people called to be right in the middle of the mess that we have. Our youth ministry is a wreck when you sit down and look at it. We have a young man that is an atheist right now, but believes he might be wrong. But he keeps on coming and we keep saying the same thing.

My family and life was a mess, but God loved me enough to show me that he loved me through that mess. I believe the impact that people had on my life will live on and will change others. I just had a student get mad at his football coach and leave in the middle of the game on a Thursday. The reason is because he didn't get to play. I loved looking at him after he dropped a few cuss words an saying to him "You know what I believe that God has bigger plans for you and this is small compared to all he has for your life and I love you" I knew he wasn't that upset because he didn't get to play, but it was because his mother and him have had some issues and he wanted to prove he could do it while she was sitting in the stands. It's a mess and I believe it's my calling.

I feel like I am rambling, because I am....but my last example of this is just a few days ago with another students. They have been posting this stupid "if you like my status I will tell you something I like about you. I hit the like button and he came back with this....

i like: how we have the same passion for helping the less fortunate
dislike: how we never go to wingstop anymore!
confession: i think your as organized as a fifth grade boy! lol

That was cool to me for three reasons. He knew my passion, he knew what I enjoy, and he knows my failure. When I read that I was touched, because I knew we had a relationship. he is a kid that goes with me to meetings about IRC and is joining with me. I did the same thing to another kid who I don't know that well and this is what he said...."i like how funny you are!" It was still cool, but my goal is to not just be the funny guy. He has only been in youth group a couple of times and I tend to be a bit sarcastic and truthful with kids. 

My prayer is that God would allow all of this that is taken place to live on past and beyond me. I pray that God will show his mercy and grace to all of us.