Confession Time

I must make a confession I believe for the last ten months I have been saying No to God on something I know for a fact he want's me to do and see for myself. I have had this deep conviction that I am to go overseas for a mission trip to do something. I must say this scares me because I am terrified to do so. Not because I am afraid of dying, but because God is going to show me something that is going to radically change me. My fear is that this in Luke is going to come alive....

A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. ³¹A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. ³²So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. ³³But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. ³⁴He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. ³⁵The next day he took out two silver coins^[c] and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'
 ³⁶"Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?"
 ³⁷The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him."
      Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise."

I feel so dumb for even have this feeling inside of me that is Fear. God taking my heart and changing it shouldn't be scary, but it is. The place I believe is the Philippines. I recently started sponsoring a young man from there with Compassion International. I must admit it is the first time. For whatever reason God had kept directing my heart back to the Philippines to sponsor an older child that is in his teens. I couldn't help the conviction that came across me. This is not the first time that I have had this, in fact it is once a week to where God just breaks me and is telling me to take this step. I am not sure if this even makes any sense to anyone, but I feel I need to do something. Through this whole post I have hit the backspace button because I can't find the words to explain how I feel! But I know I need to act....Lord Help me!