My Story Part 1

Most of my life was spent trying to find the meaning of life. Since I can remember I always been a seeker and always asking what is next. I can tell you that being this way is a gift, but I have learned that just because you have this gift doesn't mean it is easy. In school I didn't cuss, smoke, do any drugs, or drink allot. I at one point started going down the drinking path but stopped. To help tell my Story I will use a couple of notes I have received from family members that I received on a Walk to Emmaus I went on this past weekend.

"You are just the person I expected you to become. Always so determined to do what you want. As a little boy no one could change your mind. You had an idea of the way things should be and tried to make them that way."

"I remember you being a sweet quite young boy who loved to play with your cousins. You were just not sure about things"

Those two quote pretty much sum up who I was growing up. I have always had away of going for what I want and not thinking twice about it. I write this as someone who is still a.d.d. and has dyslexia (I just had to use spell check on that word) I struggle through school and honestly had a fear I would not become anything but a uneducated fool. I lost my dad at the age of 15 because of alcoholism and fell into a weird state of mind.

Through all of that I never stopped seeking. I went through a time to where I didn't believe that God was there and he was just something that we made up as humans. At the age of five an old bitter preacher gave me my first Bible and asked if I was to die would I go to heaven or hell?? I didn't know what to say so I remained quite. He told me to read that Bible, I couldn't read at all I was five. So I had the fear of hell but had no clue how to get out of it because I couldn't read. I would love to say I had allot of respect for that guy, but i don't. I will tell you this I started seeking God.

My aunt and uncle always had the ability to show me the love of Christ. To this day they still love me unconditionally. I met a youth pastor who started to share the Gospel with me in school. Friends who started to show me that it wasn't about being "good." I still had a struggle though, I thought I had to read my whole Bible. I tried, I really did...nothing. At this point is when I thought to myself, this God is not real. My grandfather who was a drunk accepted Christ into his life after my dad passed away. I started thinking to myself, Maybe their is a God?? I started asking questions. All of my friends were Christians, but not me! I acted like I was one. I went to church, but I didn't believe.

After September 11th is when I decided that there was a need for me to accept Christ. It changed me BIG TIME! I knew God had a calling and it had to do with young people. This is what I started to see....

One old man made me go through several different emotions because of fear. The love Beautiful Feet of Christ made me follow and see Jesus for myself. The feet were from his people and those who choose to follow him.

15 years I was seeking Christ, but something I learned not to long ago. Christ was seeking me way before I was seeking him. He made the choice to adopt me into his family.

More to come later this week!