Margin

So an area i believe I need to work on is in the area of time. I tend to always run late to things. I try not too, but some how I end up doing so. I believe it is because I hate to cut things short or I am easily distracted. I tend to not allow enough time and find myself stressed trying to make it to the next place. This tends to then become a train wreck trying to fit things in.

I believe I need to simply realize that things tend to take more time then I expect. Allowing myself to have more time in areas that are important and allowing my self to enjoy my time is important. 

Time

Time is such a tough Subject. You hear people talk about it and you can almost hear people saying the samething. The way I see it now is that this is not my time, and God gave it to me for his purpose. Could it be that we make tougher than it really is?? I think back to the days leaving church on a Wednesday frustrated. It was amazing how people always had an opinion for how something should have been done differently. I spent two years trying to get people to understand that I was different from the youth pastor before. Brian is still at the church and we are good friends but we were different.

I spent my time maintaining something that was not mine or what God called me to. You see mentoring was sways the answer to me. Spending time with a person and helping them see Gods grace. Some how I managed to screw that up to. I was so worried about me looking good, and not there spiritual needs.

So what does this have to do with time??? Everything! In October u went on a walk to emmaus. It took several years because I was a control freak. I rarely do things like that with out details. I went and when I came back thing started falling apart and it was time for God to control my time.

Now my time is not spent proving myself to people. I enjoy spending my time outside of church helping those in need. I don't want a stage or a huge audience, I simply want one person. At this point God has giving me two young people to invest hours of my time into. Both are in two spots. One has a mother who loves him dearly and the other was abandoned at the age of 13. Both have different needs but require the same medication, "quality time."

Quality time means this me simply being fully there. This is with my reationship with God and people. I spend less time in line and more time talking with people. More than anything else I am being blessed. Not because I am doing a good thing, but because I am seeing things for what they are.

Anyone who knows me knows that I love your time and words. I love to hear "good job" or a simple dinner. Gifts are ok, but I want time. It is important that I understand that God and others want the same from me.

2011?

It's hard to believe that I have been at "The Mission" for seven years and five of those youth pastor. This place has changed my life for the better. The last week or so I have been thinking allot about where I came from and where I am at right now. For whatever reason that is my driving force to continue in what I am doing!

So what do I want to see different in our youth ministry in 2011?

Compassion- I love the definition a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering. 

This past year I have not shared with many people and one day I really believe I need to do so public. I never knew how wounded I was as a child. For whatever reason when I went on my walk God brought that out of me and made tears finally come out. I now have a greater love and compassion for people in general. For so long my story was how much I had been able to over come a difficult child hood life. My story is so much more then that. I started seeing that two years ago when Chad and Brian set me down and talked to me. 

For our youth ministry we MUST have compassion because we are dealing with an age group that is in need of HOPE! Step into a high school now and see if you find much hope? So we need to say things like....

I love you...I am proud of you....I believe in you.....you can do this. For so long it has been about over coming what life throws out to you. 


The steps I need to take to make this happen is simple but yet complex! This must become a habit of mine and out adults. I hate how we have made this ministry thing so difficult and busy. Doing life requires time and I believe now more then ever before that is what brings real change! 


I have more that I am going to save for a later post

2011 Expectations

Wow, 2011 is just a few weeks away. Yesterday morning in our staff meeting we talked about some new ways of doing things. Really I guess it's not new, it is how Jesus did things. Chad asked that we would blog about our 2011 Expectations for our ministry.

It was one year ago that I spent a couple of weeks off of work and placed myself in a position where I didn't do anything with Church, work, or even with people outside the holidays. I guess I never really knew the fruit that would come from that. I had A LOT of anger in my soul and heart that I really needed to deal with. God started breaking me and showing me his love for me and his love for his people.

As I write this I am already almost in tears, because I believe there is nothing more lonely then battling something alone and making the choice to do so. For the first time in my life I was unsure on my purpose and what I was even going to do. I felt I was the only one and couldn't be honest with anyone about it. You have to understand I have always had goals for myself and wanted to prove I could do something.

After finally going to people and saying I have this issue and I don't know what to do about it. Finally it hit me, I am the problem. Everything I had done had been through my power with just a little help from God. For the first time I was going to need a miracle in my life to take place and I couldn't do anything about it. I know longer had a drive or a passion for anything.

I started to see day by day a little more of God's calling and not my calling for my own life. I started to believe that my days as a youth pastor were not numbered and it was a high calling from God. God started showing me that they needed to see my true side and not my performance side. Mission Abilene and Abilene, Texas is what I was going to call home until he says something different. I believe with all my heart something is going to take place in the next year or so that is going to change my life forever...but I am not to pack up and leave though.

So what would I like to see in 2011?

• We grow in a deeper relationship with Jesus and not Church! 
• We understand that God's grace is what calls us back home to him! 
• Worship would take priority in the most unusual ways! 
• That he would show us the passion that he has for us! 

I felt God was pushing me to send this teacher at Abilene High an email thanking him for what he has done with some of my students. One student in particular, I will not give the teachers name but his response back to me was touching....

"You're right: We need this encouragement, both as teachers and youth ministers. As a teacher,

often I measure "success" in averages and tests scores, so it's easier, sadly, to forget about

Kingdom success sometimes. I have to pray the Lord constantly remind me of the real and bigger

calling as a teacher. Every once and a while the Lord graciously provides a student who's so ready

to be called back to the Lord, but they don't see it. The ability to partner with the Lord and men of

God like you in this is incredible."  

So I do not have any number goals at all? How many students will I take to camp? Not sure, how many new students would I like to see come? Those who God brings through our students praying and seeing the need for the lord to do a work in their life. My success can not be built on a number, it has to be built on the kingdom of heaven.

I want to do more with NO credit at all. I want to continue to encourage other christian's who work with teens to keep up the good work. It is SO easy to forget the purpose that God has placed in front of us. But we must always remember that God has something different!

Last is this, to continue to make our youth group as much of a family as possible. This method and style has brought a great deal of change into our group. We keep people because of this...that is why I post pictures and videos all the time. They love it and they connect that way!

I pray that God would just bless us! I am always inspired by music. The whole time I have had this song on repeat! This is a theme song for Paradox Student Ministries!

The Greatest Gift

I have to admit I am not really into allot of material stuff. I believe allot of times that is what we believe a gift is. But I find a gift to be more then something that will end up in the trash at some point. A gift has the ability to bring life to someone and best example is Christ on the cross. So if I was to pick the best gift, this is what I would say...

A little over a month ago a six year prayer was answered. I had always wanted to see a high school student lead a junior high student to Christ. I wanted to see this because I have a huge heart for the older leading the younger and teaching that is a part of God's will. Many times the American style is each man for his own and we have kids growing up fast and not sure what to do.

So a month ago it was in the Alsups parking lot on North 10th when a conversation between a junior high student and myself went into what would be a day that I will never forget. A High school student is in the van as I am driving and talking he starts to share his heart. Next thing I know we are all in tears and we pull over into the parking lot and he said he wanted to ask Jesus into his heart.

I can say that seeing that and see the relationship they still have will be a memory and gift I will take to heaven with me. For the last couple of years God has taken me and has broke me and has shown me what it means to be a follower of Christ. Being a follower means will you obey no matter what and do what he ask you to do out of the love you have for Christ. Many times to include myself we tend to make excuses for what we do and go on.

As I saw this take place I really had a small glimpse of what Christ says when he tells us to make disciples. I was an awesome gift to see God's will unfold before my eyes. I will have to admit I was crying when I saw it.

If I could change anything?

Out of all the places I have been I must say New York was one of my favorite places to go. I loved it for many different reasons. The biggest was the multiple cultures in one small area. As I looked around at all the history in NY, one thing stuck out to me. What use to be a dream for some people has turned into a nightmare.

I am a fan of liberty and I believe in the power of making choices. I love america and all the good we do around the world. I know when you look around at times it seems we are not doing anything, but we really are. There is one thing I dislike about our country though. It's the american dream that has slowly turned into a nightmare for some people.

Over the last few years I have watched people work their lives away and try to cover up their problems with money and stuff. I have seen people to include myself justify themselves for spending and trying to keep up with the jones'. It would be easy to point the finger at someone and say it is their fault, but in reality the fault belongs to all of us.

I remember stories about my mother and father that shared a burrito while my mom was pregnant with me. They were a young couple without a high school education. My dad who was a hard worker, worked in the oilfield, my mother stayed home.  At a young age my dad desired this american dream and though this is what was going to make him happy. He made a good living for my family, but at the same time missed out on allot.

I never really got into sports growing up because I didn't have him around to teach me. I didn't understand the game at all, so I just never really got into it. I do not have a clue of how to work on a car because once again I was taught. My father would work 60 to 70 hour weeks. When he was home, he was asleep. Please hear me my dad thought he was doing the right thing. He bought me stuff all the time, he didn't know I was crying out for quality time.

Now several years later I look around and I see the issue is still there. I believe in working and to be honest I hate to not be busy. I have a fear at times though we have forgot what we are here for. Are calling is to give God the glory and not our pocketbooks, closets, garages, and whatever else. We are here for relationships and I don't mean just relationships with your social class. It make me ANGRY when I see people judge someone because of social class. I have to be careful, because those who have everything and like to show it off I tend to judge. Part of it is because I have a strong belief now that the way God meant for this to work is that we put others before us.

The american dream now shows that we should be first and then we give the left overs. The hard part of this whole blog is that I AM GUILTY! I pray daily that God would continue to break me of being selfish.

I have showed this before and I have now made this picture my background for my computer. It is a prayer I should pray and I don't....

The young man that wrote this is fatherless and motherless at the age of 17. He supported by Compassion International. The little shack he lives in Compassion bought for him. In the slum we start to find hope because of the love of Jesus.

As you leave please watch this video, it is only one minute! You will notice he says Nick in the video...I am not his sponsor but it hit me hard because I felt God used it to speak to me and about my prayer life.

Youth Thanksgiving

We had a great time last night. What was dinner turned into a shaving cream fight and I lost! It was awesome to come together and simply have some fun. Special thank you to Jamie and Justin for opening up their home. You can check out the video and pictures bellow! 

Click Here for photos

What I am thankful for

1. The Cross and what it means
2. Family
3. Church Family
4. Relationships
5. Freedom
6. All the pranks pulled on me this year
7. Being pushed into swimming pools and locked out of hotel rooms from camp. Even though I became frustrated they are still memories.
8. Salvation
9. Men and women who fight for our country
10. All the places I have seen this year

Now you add to this and tell me what you are thankful for!

The Big Picture

While flying back this past week I took a picture of this from plane because I was thinking about how God views us and sees the full picture. Even from thousands of feet from the group we still do not have the ability to see all that God has for us.

I am amazed how God uses us when we are SO small next to him. Last-night I took two of our boys to lunch after church and then two others went with me that night. I started doing this with just a couple for a reason. I believe it is one of the best bonding experiences that we could have. Lastnight I had a sixth grader and a sophomore in high school. Next to one another they look like brothers. The sixth grader decided he was going to fight it and say no it's not true! So we ask a few people and they say "what, they're not brothers?" After a while the sophomore comes back and says "We are brothers in Christ, that is all that matters."

How true is that? The big picture is that is that we are brothers and sisters because of his mighty love. It's amazing how something like this can become supper spiritual.

God thank you for the big picture!

The Poor in America

 Many of you know that this week I have been away raising money for Compassion International. As I was doing this I was thinking allot about the great country we live in. The fact that I took a shower this morning, had a Dr. Pepper, and will eat a meal out here in a bit. We are blessed in allot of ways, but at times I ask if we are really the poor ones?

Talking about how a filter could help up to 60 people in an area, this is because they share. Do we even know our neighbors? I spent some time asking God are we just being fooled from the American dream? The fact that people are so selfish to help with their own issues they go shopping, drinking, eating, or whatever else.

Could it be that the rich are poor and the poor are rich? Lets look at it from a realistic stand point. Here in America we have the highest suicide rate then any other country in the world. Why is that? I believe in mental illness, but I also know most of the time it has to do with losing something.

So here is what I started to see as I was thinking, we do live in poverty in America. It's a little different and money cant solve the problem here. This type of poverty is spiritual and very complex and is controlled by each individual.

The poverty is called "Fakeness" we can not let anyone know we have problems because of how it will look. We MUST wear the new clothes and drive the cars to make us feel better. We spend money on bottle water and refuse to drink it out of the tap. Size is what matters and you will see people trying their best to look a certain way.

We will kick our kids out of the house because of disrespect. A young man who is fatherless and does not have a clue of how to be a man will be called names such as fag, queer, gay, or whatever else. A mother will harm their own child for a drug or a drink. You drive by homes and all you see is happiness, when in all reality noone is happy.

The part that gets me the most is that we will have this going on and then come to church and raise your hands at the right time and on que. Then when a teenager stops going to church we will call them "slackers" or say they are falling away from God (like that is even possible).

What is the cure for all of this, simple it's the blood of Christ. You see I believe more and more that God didn't send his son to get our morals together. But that our morals would come together out of worship for him.

Our Church has been telling their stories for a while. At first I was not a big fan of it because they go like this.... "I was so high and drunk and my life was a disaster...Jesus came and now everything is good" What a lie that is. But it has been different for us, it has been a story followed with I am STILL struggling. HOW beautiful is that to understand that the love of Christ is not based off of how Good you are but that he loves you in the middle of the struggle.

The church should be the biggest recovery group in America. We're all in recovery and we are in need of the love of Christ.