To be honest

If I were to be honest with you, I have been at a turning point in my life for the last 8 months. I've only told one person this, but felt like making it public. God started prompting me to pray for my future family. My future wife and kids. People who know me know that is a huge step. I've always been afraid of relationships. My biggest fear was screwing it up, repeating family history, not being able to be the man God wanted me to me.

This fear did more than just cripple me, it stopped me from Doing Gods will. But God in his all knowing, had a plan for me. You see a young man walked into our youth group. I remember the day very well. That moment I knew there was something about him. I met his mother that night. Because of some past mistakes she was a little afraid to let her son go anywhere. But I talked her into letting him go with the youth group to Rosas.

He has never missed a Sunday. His parents and grandma started coming to church. Him and I built a strong bond. We eat together once a week. Out of nowhere I was asked to be his God father. His mom said there was a night and day difference in him.

But here is beauty, God used him to change me. Being in a partnership with him and his family has taught me I am going to screw it up, I am going to get things wrong. But what matters is that we do this life together. He's a young man who almost got into a gang, God through his grace and mercy allowed the two of us to impact each other. I have tears even writing this. This week Aline I have been so proud of him. AB honorrole, his mother has enough trust in him to extend his curfew. I can't tell you how many homeless people he has helped. how many lunches he has bought someone at school with the money he earns. Even his mother has said she has learned so much for him.

Together does work, he is not just a youth kid...he is family.

Random place to blog

I am sitting in kids village blogging. We are shooting a story a story on cribs. Well I know I haven't done anything the last couple of months. The last few weeks have been full of trials on many different levels. There have been alot of personal issues and family problems. bit I have to admit it had been nice to see people come together. For along time it was easy for me to share things with anyone. But lately I have three or four people I trust with my stuff. Those three or four people have become the best of friends.

So when we talk about doing things together I think we need to look around at who we have with us. I understand now that we can find anyone who agrees with us, but we need that person who will look us in the eyes and tell us straight up.

A few weeks ago I was stressing over small things. I had a 17 year old look at me and ask the tough question. "nick how long are you going to live this way." WOW! That hurt but it was good. He knew nothing other than the fact I was stress. That weekend I had a friend call me out saying enjoy life and the time you have.

I needed that. I needed someone to be honest with me. So with that being said...chill out and enjoy the time you have. Get away, do something you enjoy. God has giving us limited time we need to cherish the time we have.

My hero

It's hard to just pick one person for a everyday hero. So I thought about it a little this week, and this is what I got. My everyday hero would be the young person who has messed up and you can see him picking up the pieces and trying to make a change. The single mom who struggles paycheck to paycheck just to survive. Another hero would be the dad who chooses to have a relationship with his kids, despite how that kid came into the world. The man who takes someone elses child and treats them like there own. The person who is willing to take in a orphan and provide he/she with a family.

An everyday hero to me is a person who tries tO do the right thing. I must admit it is hard sometimes because I see so much bad. But when you sit and listen to people, you find that heroes are all around us. Intact we are all heroes to someone.

This summer

I have a love hate relationship with summer. I hate the heat, but love how it brings people closer together. This whole year has been a year of inner healing for me. What most people don't understand is that as soon as my dad passed I went right to work. I was 16 atvthe time. Summer meant I got to work more. Now years later I have come to the point to believe that life is full of work, at the same time life is about enjoying it. This summer even though my work day will continue, I have plans this summer to enjoy it.

At church we do alot fellowship time with the youth. I love doing that!I plan to make several trips to the lake. I am also going to be able to spend some time with dads side of the family. Some I haven't seen or spoken to since my dads death. Really I am learning life is about enjoying it.

Why compete?

Me and a good friend were talking the other day about how we make everything into a competition. I am just as guilty, even though I hate it. I have never been that big into it, even though I know some competition is a good thing. Today I am so happy to see more and more Godly people looking for quality and not just quantity.

This year for whatever reason I am taking the smallest number of students ever to church camp. After talking with someone about it, they asked a question that has been sticking with me. Can you lay down your head at night and sleep well?? The answer is YES! For the first time is the 8 years I have been at the church, each student has a caring adult on their side and ready to battle the things that life throws out. When I log on to Facebook and I see a leader saying to a student.... Good to see you at church and you are special to me, brings me great joy.

The leaders at the mission do everything with very little recognition. Because of that I want to say thank you to all of them. The relationships that have been built since we said we are going to take this a different route. What made me thank about this? When I had a student come up to me and say "We rarely tell you this, but thank you...we know when everything goes bad, you will be there...even if we stop going to church."

That comment really moved me, then I thought about something...it's not about the numbers,but the one who know you have there back. Let's not just talk about that,but yet have no relationships. Let's show it with action one person at a time.

What's been up

Alrright I have negleted this BAD! Life has been very busy, but yet very fulfilling at the same time. it's amazing how a job can turn you into a morning person, even on weekends I am up early. Today as I was driving a song came on the radio. I must be honest I listen to very little contempenary Christian music or even Christian Rock, call me whatever you want to...I just have a hard time getting into it sometimes. However I love worship and spend time each morning listening to it. While listening to Pandoara this song came on!



it made me think about something, something big. We are only living for a short period of time and we screw up this life BIG TIME! We make choices that are good and bad. The forgiviness we recieve is amazing, but I dont think we understand it at all. So many of us try to be super natural, but yet forget we are nothing without the cross. We forget Jesus came so that everyday people could become saints. If that is the case, why are so many christians trying to be something they arent? I think I have the answer, we are simply human! I have been able to witness some life changing events they last few months. I havent talked much about it, mainly because I didnt have the words. I am praying for the words daily to explain. I must admit, it has been nice to sit back and finaly get some things. hopefully in a couple of weeks I will have some words and post it!

Who do you think you are?

I must admit I have been thinking a lot about this one. Mainly because I struggle more with this question then most people know. So I will answer as best as I can.

This past week I had a student talk to me, because he felt God calling him into ministry, but at the same time he also wanted to work another job. He went on to say he didn't know if he could do it or not because of how dedicated I was, but at the same time have another job. I thought about that for a second, my response was this. I refused to be that youth pastor that came in for a couple of years and leave. I am here because this is me. I use to think God would only use me if "I was working for the church" Now I understand I am apart of his church. I went on to tell him I could careless if I ever speak, if I was ever popular, or if anyone even remembered me as a pastor. I knew God wanted me to be like everyday people. I love to sit down and have meals with people. I strive to empower other people and for me to step-out. Most people don't know but I have dinner with same student every Sunday for almost a year now. Developing a relationship with his family, encouraged his mother and little brother to come to the mission. I love to hear what she gets from church on Sunday. This also lead to his mom asking me to becoming a God father to this young man. When his mother asked, I was surprised and researched it. I found it to be an honor to simply be that person that spiritually encourage him and to be a part of his family.

I say all of that to say I am someone who wants to be an everyday person. I am someone who struggles and understands people can change. I am someone who had been brought into different peoples families and treated like I am a part of their family. Really I am a person who was created with purpose and loved by God.

the church

I believe to this day the church is still as powerful as it aways as been. When God is in it, you really can't take the power away. However I do believe the people in the church has grown more and more away from what church was designed for. I have talked about it in staff meetings, but the biggest thing about Denver for me was the face these churches would lay out the bills and they would pick up another churches expenses. There the catholic church would work with baptist church for the common good of man kind.

I believe with all my heart the church was designed for you and I to live as family. That's why in our youth ministry everything comes from a families point of view. Last week when I am told one of my students mothers has cancer and he is afraid of her dying, that issue becomes our issue...we carry that for him. The church is there to be a family and to love one another.

Parking spots

If you are like me you spend allot of time in the car. My question is, what if you got into your car and remained park in that one location? That would be silly on many different levels. The point of your car is to go. The same is for as well I believe. God has giving us an amazing gift, it's called life and grace. More now than ever before, I believe life should be lived as if you were dying. Many times we take our life and we park it. We park it because we have fear.

So let's live this life and not get stuck in that same old habit of looking for a parking spot.

The one

So many times you hear people say that their is strength in numbers. I believe that to be true in some cases, but I also believe their is strength in that one individual. Listening to Chads message last week made me think all week about what I do. I started thinking about the one God gave me. It's amazing to look back on this person and say, wow look at how far you have come. I also think what if I worried about being fair? What would I have missed? What if I tried to help everyone and ignore him? When I read through scripture I see Jesus was concerned about the one and not everyone. I was so encouraged last week because I was starting to get in that mindset of I have to do more. Reality is, it is All about making every moment count.